Fun Facts About Getting Mono at Age 30: The Rants

Fun Facts About Getting Mono at Age 30: The Rants of an Ill, Delusional, Exhausted Spinster

- did you know your armpits can get swollen?
- did you know it's possible to actually wish you were a teenager again? I wish I back in high school and had mono, where my only worry was if I'd get asked to Prom and not how am I going to make rent.
- did you know you can totally live off of apple sauce, Advil, and Powerade Zero?
- did you know your spleen can hurt? "Ow, My Spleen!"
- do you even know where your spleen is? Hint: higher than you think.
- did you know you can be jealous of people sick with the stomach flu? Hey, at least it's over in a few days rather than this horrible mono that lingers for weeks on end.
- did you know you can be too tired to eat ice cream even though your sore throat is unbearable and keeps waking you up?

All joking aside, mono is awful. It's not the sickest I've ever been (that honor goes to Christmas 2009 when I had swine flu and strep at the same time) but it's been the longest I've ever been sick- about a month in now and still haven't started feeling better.
I wish I could just lay in bed all day but I have to work. I try to fake feeling better in the hopes that one time it might be true.
Teenage brats that get mono are so lucky: they get to miss school, they have mommy to take care of them, and they really only need to focus on getting better.
Getting mono at 30 shouldn't be allowed!!

The End








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